We are all aware of the importance of friendship for our quality of life, for meaning and joy. We were created for relationships with others; to live our lives with, through, and for others to our mutual benefit.
The quality of friendship and its depth is dependent upon the quality and depth of our willingness to take a risk, be open and share. Think of intimate friends. People who accept our shortcomings and vulnerabilities and before whom we do not have to wear a mask. They can criticize us and challenge us because their motivation is their love for us. Friends can disagree and argue with each other because they know that disagreements and arguments are not what is deepest in their relationship.
All of us probably have such friends. They are small in number but essential to our quality of life. They provide spiritual and emotional support, bring fun into our lives, and support us through life's challenges. Without such friendship, life is not only dull but incredibly difficult!
If we look back over the friendships we have lost, it is most likely that, as time moved forward, we drifted apart slowly, maybe without our recognizing it at first. Perhaps we outgrew each other because what bound our friendship was a common interest rather than our persons. Perhaps our friends emigrated, making friendship harder to sustain; not even the wonders of modern communication equal friends being physically present to each other. Perhaps the messiness of daily life got in the way of dropping a text message, making the phone call, or arranging the visit. Without sharing time with each other, friendship withers.
Just as making friends requires taking a risk, sustaining and growing in friendship requires effort and renewal. Friendship requires one person to pick up the phone and make the call and the other to say yes to the invitation to spend time in conversation or yes to the invitation to meet up. Without this constant "being present to each other" friendship will not survive. Wishful thinking does not sustain a friendship.
What is true of our human friendships is also true of our faith. Christian faith is an invitation to friendship and relationship with the three persons of the Holy Trinity. Such a living friendship with God is essential if our faith is to be vibrant. It is not the secular world "out there", beyond the Church, that will undermine our faith, but it is our commitment to Christ that keeps that friendship alive and active. The choice is ours. Using the image of himself as the vine, Jesus speaks of our need to be grafted onto him so as to grow in friendship and not wither (see Jn. 15:1-17), God the Father prunes the branches so that the relationship between the vine and the branch, Jesus and each of us, can grow and bear fruit. We cannot ignore the dark warning in Jesus' words: "As a branch cannot bear fruit all by itself unless it remains part of the vine... cut off from me you can do nothing" (Jn. 15:5-6).
Our friendship with Jesus, like our other friendships, depends on making time to be present, talking, listening, and sharing life with Jesus in the daily commitment to prayer. It is this commitment to prayer that nourishes our friendship with Jesus and brings about our transformation into the person God calls us to be. Perhaps you think you are an unworthy friend. If so, do not hesitate to open the door to God; God created us for a relationship with him and he does not make his friendship with us contingent on our perfection.
The Book of Revelations provides us with a beautiful image, "Look, I am standing at the door, knocking If one of you hears me calling and opens the door, I will come in to share a meal at that person's side" (Rev.3:20). What a wonderful invitation and basis for friendship. So, go open the door!